If you have been in the Domination/submissive circles long enough, you may have heard of the term: “topping from the bottom”. What is topping from the bottom, and do you find yourself doing it without even knowing?
Topping from the bottom typically means when a submissive is actually controlling the scenario or situation of how they are being dominated. For example, you may tell your Mistress that you don’t to be called that name, or, you’d prefer to use the smaller dildo as opposed to the larger one. Perhaps you change up the scenario, role play, or activity in the middle of it—causing the one dominating you to switch gears suddenly.
If you have a tendency to do these things, some Dominants might find that you are to do what he/she says. In fact, interrupting a scenario tends to clog up the flow of what is happening in the times you are being dominated.
For instance, if you express to the one you serve that you love big dildos that are eight inches or more, and your Mistress decides to use one on you – only for you to say you your Mistress to switch to a smaller one only confuses her, and makes for an interrupted session.
There are ways to communicate with your Mistress/Master before you become involved in your D/s play. For starters, telling your Mistress/Master your likes/dislikes can help tremendously. Also, creating a safe word for when you have had too much can also be helpful in how smoothly the D/s session goes.
The point of submitting is to submit to your Dominant within the guidelines of what you deem acceptable, and then letting Her/Him take control as He/She takes heed of your special requests prior to the session. Trying to guide the scenario/session after you’ve established the guidelines, limits, and boundaries is considered to be topping from the bottom. This is not usually looked upon in a favorable light by Dominants and is something that should be avoided.